Snakes at the Beach and other Scary Things!

Yesterday we went hiking at the beach. It was a 5 mile hike. It was GREAT! Beautiful views and an amazing trail. There were many spots where the trail was covered by roots. The elevation change wasn't much. Only 160 feet, but the roots made it a little more challenging in parts. We were sore today!

The trail takes you around the cape and out to the point. On the point, the ocean surrounded you from 3 sides. It was beautiful, but very WINDY and cold! Our walk back was great, until my hubby spotted a snake...of course I figured there were snakes there the whole time, every time I heard the grass move, I told myself not to look. He was the only one that saw it and we were headed down a different path than the snake anyways. So, I was dealing with it....oh, I haven't mentioned my that I'm TERRIFIED of snakes. My heart starts to beat fast and if I'm around one for long enough, I will start hyperventilating. So, someone seeing a snake could have messed with my head enough to end all future hiking trips. However, I was dealing with it.

Then, a few minutes later, my daughter is the leader and she spots another snake. She said it in a tone that I knew she wasn't kidding. She had a little bit of a frightened sound in her voice. Even though I knew she wasn't lying, I was hoping she'd really seen something she thought was a snake.... Keep in mind, we had just walked down this same path less than 30 minutes ago.

I was still dealing with it.... That was until about 10 minutes later when my husband stopped when he spotted another snake, and then another, and then another, and then another, and another! There were 5 snakes right there about a foot in front of us. Climbing up the hill. Of course all the kids want to take a look at all of them. I'm in the back and can't keep moving. I could feel my heart start to pound harder and then I started to FREAK out. Luckily, my hubby was there to tell the kids to move up the trail and hurry! I think he was worried they'd hear more cuss words fly out of their moms mouth if they didn't move on. That and me yelling, "get me out of here!"

We made it all the way back without any more snakes being spotted. I told everyone to keep their eyes up and not to look! I think that helped! :)

So, I'm scared of snakes, it keeps me from doing things, but this year I haven't let it stop me....even though we saw one one the first walk! So, I'm thinking that I can continue our hikes. I'm hoping. It freaks me out a little! I just need a chill pill before we go. Anyone know where you get those??? My fear of snakes comes from my mother, who is also very afraid of snakes. Most of my sisters are also very afraid of snakes.

Another fear of mine, dogs. They have always been a challenge for me. They keep me from going lots of places alone. I've gotten better though! Mostly since our trip to Vegas.

My fear of dogs stems back to my childhood when I was bit in the face by a dog. Ever since then, I get the same feeling around dogs as I do snakes. I can't walk by a dog in a car....even if it's locked inside with windows up! Sometimes it's doable with a pep talk from my hubby!

Another more recent fear of mine is twisting my ankle. It became a fear after I moved to Vancouver (7 years ago) and twisted my ankle (almost broke it) for the first time. It was bad! Since then, I have twisted that same ankle probably 30 times or more. Once on the way back to the car from a Blazer game, I twisted my ankle 3 times...no, I wasn't drunk! I've twisted my ankle walking to the car in my own driveway.

The worst one, since the first time I did it, was when I was walking out to my car after class one night and stepped on an uneven sidewalk, twisted my ankle, fell to the ground, my phone broke and slid across the pavement, and other class members turned to see if I was okay. After getting help to my feet, I slowly limped back to my car and once inside began to cry. I was in so much pain. I had hit my wrist when I fell and I couldn't use it to put my seat belt on or turn the steering wheel. I of course had NO insurance. So, I never went to the doctor. A year later, my wrist still hurt to put weight on or do somethings. Almost two years later, I have occasional pain in my wrist, but for the most part it is okay.

Because of my ankle, I fear walking and anything sporty. I used to be sporty! I pretty much stopped all walking without having my hubby hold me up on one side after that accident.

That was until last spring when I took a tone and trim class at school. The instructor gave me some exercises to strengthen my ankles and we did them in class a few times. I try to do them at home when I remember. Since I started those exercises, I have not twisted my ankle. That's a whole year without twisting my ankle! KNOCK ON WOOD!

My fears hold me back! Whether it's the snakes, or the dogs, or my ankle. They make me fear doing anything active or fun. I'm so proud of myself for being able to be active for the past month and not let any of these things bother me! Even with the 7 snakes we saw yesterday, I will continue to be active! They can't hold me back anymore!

Stress and Eating

I guess the past two weeks I didn't have very much stress. I never found myself eating without knowing what I was doing....that was, until yesterday. Yesterday the kids were fighting really bad, they didn't listen to anything, they were grouchy....you know the rest. So, after an hour at my daughters track meet, we decided to call it quits and head home.

After we got home, I caught myself sitting on the couch with a handful of pretzels. I had just grabbed them, ate two and went straight to the couch. Once I "woke up" and realized what I had just done, I hurried to put the pretzels in my hand back.

I have been weighing EVERYTHING.....it's part of the calorie counting....and here I had just grabbed a handful of pretzels and started eating before I even knew what happened. It wasn't good, but at least I had the sense to put the darn things back! Jeez!

Obviously I'm a stress eater and I have a lot of stress. Right now is pretty good because I don't have school, but school starts in less than a month and I'm sure my schedule will be all screwed up. I've already been stressing about finding a babysitter! My sister can do it sometimes, but she has to drive so far! Ahhh...okay, this isn't about school or babysitting. This is about weight and stress eating! My point, I have stress, I eat!

I need something else to do in a time like that. Obviously drugs or alcohol seem like the logical choice. :) However, they are also addictive and I only drink once in awhile and drugs aren't exactly something I'm into! So, food has become my addiction. It used to be coke....coke makes me feel better, but coke is FULL of calories. I've tried diet and sometimes it helps, but not for those REALLY stressful times.

So, now I have the blog! It's okay, but not always accessible and if the kids are talking to me while I'm trying to type, it stresses me out more! So, not the best option either....

Books, I love reading, but same issue with the kids talking.....why is it that they talk again??? Just kidding! I love my kids, but they do add stress.

Since I can't get rid of my kids or make them quit talking, I need something else to do that will calm my nerves without stressing me out more! I'll be thinking about that! :)

Until then, keep the food put away....nothing on the counters, cupboard doors closed!!!!!!

Oh boy....No scale!

So, I didn't hide the scale yesterday, but my hubby did. It was hard to not weigh last night, I couldn't even sleep! And I was really tired before that!

This morning was worse. I walked in, tried to weigh, realized there was no scale, and walked out of the bathroom irritated.

Later in the day, same issue...walked out of the bathroom irritated!

So, my first day without a scale was almost as stressful as a day with a scale. :(

Week 3: Woo Hoo! 10.5 lbs down!

Well, my weigh in went okay this morning. No, I didn't lose 10.5 lbs this week. I lost 1.5 lbs again this week. I still expect to see those biggest loser numbers on the scale when I step on it. Of course, that has never happened, but I still think it's going too. I'm optimistic like that! It's okay though, I have more time than they do! Today, I weighed 272.5. Once again, I'm sure it will be less tomorrow. :) The good news is that I've reached that 10 lb mark. My hubby also reached that mark today!

So, I'm really putting the scale away today. Out of sight, out of mind, right?! I stress all week about the scale. I haven't gained weight yet, I'm doing everything right, and sticking to my goals. So, I shouldn't have to check in with the scale everyday!

On the note of the scale: Yesterday, I was reading a blog on calorie count about weighing in. I guess I thought that my weigh in ritual was abnormal. That I was a little obsessive, but apparently not! This lady would wake up at 4:00 in the morning just to weigh in. She must have had more faith in a loss than I do. Anyways, she said (don't quote me) she looks into the mirror, convinces herself she looks thinner, steps onto the scale, does NOT look down, waits about 5 min., steps off the scale, and then reads it. Well, what do you know? I don't wake up at 4 in the morning to weigh in, but the rest of my ritual is about the same. I expect more people are like this than I thought. Maybe I'm not so abnormal. Dieting is stressful and having to weigh in is even more stressful.

So, over all, my weigh in this morning was a good one. I'm going to keep doing what I have been doing....it seems to be working. I'm losing weight and it fit's into my lifestyle.

I am going to "hide" the scale today. I think that will be good for both of us.

Also, week one, we took pictures of ourselves in our swimming attire. Yuck! But, that's what you always see on those shows......speak of the devil, a commercial just came on for weight loss and the chick has a bikini on......see, I told you...... So, we (mostly me....I think my hubby only did it for support) decided that we would take pictures in our swimming suits. I wore my worst bikini and he got off easy with shorts. We set it up so we would be able to repeat the process; the same distance away every time, same setting on the camera, wear the same clothes. Every month we are going to take a new picture. It'll be our picture journal. Someday, I'm sure I'll be happy about it, but not right now!

Anyways, the reason I told you all of that is because this is the beginning of week 4 and at the end of this week, not only do we have to weigh, but we have to take another picture. That's worse than the scale! :)

My goal is to get under 270 this week. I really want to be in the 60's! Keep your fingers crossed! I'll have to lose more than I have in the past two weeks to reach that goal, but I think I can do it! It's worse a try anyways..... :)

Weighing in Tomorrow!

So, I'm not excited about tomorrow. What's new right? I've been good! Added more calories when I could and exercised regularly. Not today though. I still have time, but I'm not going to!

So, I didn't weigh at all today.....a huge challenge for me! I want tomorrow to be a surprise. I guess we'll see what kind of surprise it will be!

Yesterday we went hiking again. It was to our first spot we ever went. We don't even consider it a hike because it's on a paved path around the lake, but yesterday we took an extended version of the walk....so, I'm considering it a hike. Also, on the same part of the path that we have taken in the past, it's REALLY STEEP. The first two times we had to stop in the middle and take a break....maybe we took more breaks than that, but yesterday, I made it all the way to the top without a break. I was huffing and puffing, unable to talk or breathe, but I made it without a break! I must be getting better. :) Yipee!

So, I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow......keeping my fingers crossed!

Longest Hike Yet!

Yesterday we went on our longest hike yet. It was 4.6 miles long. We also gained 710 feet in elevation, our highest so far. The hike seemed relatively easy compared to the last one. I think that the biking has been helping. I had worked hard to get in 30 minutes of bike riding every day to help me build some endurance. I think it really helped! Maybe not, maybe it was just an easier hike. I guess I'll find out next weekend.

Tomorrow we are going to take another short hike. Since we all have the day off, I thought we should go ahead and try to get in another one.

I've also increased my calorie intake since last week. As you know, I didn't lose much weight in week 2. I'm hoping for more in week 3. Hopefully increasing my calories will help.

I'm still weighing every day. That's probably one of the worst things I can do. It's really hard on me when I don't lose weight or when I weigh more. So far, I haven't taken a wrong turn when that happens, but I do limit my calories more, which I think was probably the problem in the first place.

So, for the next two days, I'm going to shoot for 1900 calories and HOPEFULLY, I will have lost more than a 1/2 a pound....or worse yet, I don't want to not lose at all.

Week 2 is OVER!

After yesterday, of course I was dreading this mornings weigh in. I figured I would probably have a gain instead of a loss for this week. However, when I weighed this morning I weighed 274. I was 1 lb lighter than last week. So, it's not as impressive as the 6.5 from the week before, but it's a loss and I have to take it with a smile! :)

On a somewhat better note I think, I have lost 2 inches off my waist and an inch off my hips since I started. I really haven't been doing anything like sit-ups to help with my waist. I probably should. Maybe I'll try to add that this week. It's just nice to have a change. 7.5 lbs so far! :)

My hubby is doing great too. He started out at 260. Today he weighed 250.5. He's lost 9.5 lbs. Of course, I've exercised more than him and ate less than him and still, he's beating me! :) That's okay because I love him!

I'll be hoping for a larger weight loss next week!

I may have a problem!

So, over the past week I've been fairly active. We went hiking again....I thought I was going to die! I was actually crying on the hike because I couldn't go very fast. The first 1/2 was all up hill (as you'd expect) and I had to stop a lot. My family was way ahead of me, which was fine with me. I didn't want to slow them down or my kids to see me struggling.

It was hard for me. I don't see myself this way. I don't think of me as fat....unless I'm out in public where there are other people around....

My point is, throughout the day, I do not look in the mirror (morning and night are the exception). I go in and out of the bathroom several times a day and I never look in the mirror.....at least, not below my neck. To me, I am still the same skinny person I was in high school. There are always times during the day that I am reminded that I am not that skinny person.

The one that I hate the most is when I get up off the couch. I absolutely hate sitting on our couch when we have company. Especially if I'm wearing jeans. We have a microfiber couch and you can see everything on it. So, when I get up, there is a pocket print left on the couch. My pocket print is about 8 inches wide. Not only is there one pocket print, but there are two and those two HUGE pocket prints are surrounded by the shape of my butt which extends out past the pocket prints. It's sad. I try to not let it bother me, but it does. Especially if I didn't wipe it off when I got up and then I come back to find it later.....which is the way it usually happens!

Okay, back to the hike. So, since I think I'm still a skinny person and I can do what skinny people do. It bothers me when I can't keep up with my family on a hike. These aren't hard hikes. I think we gained like 600 feet in elevation in like a mile and a 1/2. Still, my heart was beating so hard every time I had to stop, I could feel it beating in my eyes and ears. I can hear myself breathing when we are walking up the hills and I hate the fact that other people can hear me too.

At one point along the hike I almost lost it. I had already been crying a little, sad that I was failing so miserably. But at this one point, near the top, I said to my husband, "I can't do it. I can't make it." He told me I could, that I was doing great, and that we were almost to the top. Here I am trying to walk up the damn hill and all I can think about is how fat I am. That I'm carrying a 140 lb person on my back and I'm trying so freaking hard, but I can't do it. I was happy before, sitting on the couch and being fat. It wasn't hard!

But let me tell you, when I made it to the top and I saw the view, it really made me cry. I stood up on a rock and felt so much pride for what I had just accomplished! I know, it's an easy hike, but it wasn't easy for me. I thanked my husband for pushing me. Without him I surely would have turn around and walked back down the hill to the car and I would have missed the beautiful views from the top! I realize now that maybe I failed before because we weren't working out together and when I thought I couldn't do it, I quit. I need him to tell me to keep going and that I'm doing great, even when I don't believe it.

Not only did I take I hike, but I walked home from my older kids school (a little over a mile away) the other day. I was alone, but I was determined that I could do it. I also I walked my youngest son to school (1.3 miles away) with the intention of walking home too. I only made it a little way home then my sister picked me up, but that wasn't by my choice. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wasn't scared to walk to those places. I knew I could make it. It was only a mile or two and it was on flat ground. I knew I could do it because we had been hiking! I love hiking....I may suck at it right now, but it's going to get better!

Oh yeah, I may have a problem. So, I weighed this morning and I weigh 2 lbs more than my last weigh in. I've been eating less than my recommended (goal) calorie intake. Which is 1650 calories a day. I've been eating 1500 something a day (and finally yesterday I didn't feel like I was starving). I religiously (maybe more like obsessively) count calories throughout the day. When I lost weight during the first week, I ate more calories and exercised less. So, if tomorrow when I weigh in, I don't weigh less, I'm going to start eating more.

It's going to be hard for me to up my calorie intake. I went in this morning on calorie count and changed my activity level and it told me my new recommended calorie intake was 1900. So, I'm sure that I need to be eating more, but I don't want to. I've just figured out what I can eat in a day and I've gotten pretty good at getting close to my goal, but now I have to add 300 more calories a day. That's really not that much when you think about it. One more piece of chicken and another piece of bread. Still, I don't like it! I feel like right now, I'm eating and thinking about food like a skinny person! We eat a lot healthier than we ever have, but we haven't limited our choices at all. We can still have whatever we want, which I love!

So, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I've almost went into not wanting to eat at all mode. Not that I don't love food, I just don't want to eat to many calories. Right now, I think that's a good thing for me. I have a LOVE for food and we are pretty good cooks which makes it hard to stop eating sometimes!

Oh yeah, and by the way, yesterday we bought a recumbent bike. I rode it for 50 minutes (2 sittings) and went about 10 miles. I can't wait to use it again today!

One last thing....we have also been searching for hiking supplies for our trip next summer. It's fun. We haven't bought anything yet, but we are hoping to add a few things this summer....maybe sleeping bags.

I think we are going to get there. :)

One Week Down....Many More to Go!

This morning I woke up and weighed. It took me awhile to finally look down at the scale. When I did I was pleasantly surprised. I weighed 275.5 lbs. I lost 6.5 lbs, I was so happy. My hubby lost 5.5 lbs this week. I'm so amazed at how well we did. We didn't really change much, just our calorie intake. We exercised maybe 3 times last week. We should have done it more, but it's hard when it rains so much! It would be fine if there were only 2 of us, but there are 6 of us. So, I'm not sure how well we are going to be able to keep up this winter. We'll have to figure something out. Hopefully, we'll be so used to exercising, we'll feel the need to continue no matter what the weather is like.

I'm looking forward to this week. I'm hoping to keep up a greater than 2 lb/week weight loss for as long as I can, but will be happy about anything!

My sister gets married in August. It'd be nice to look somewhat slimmer by then. :)

Tomorrow I weigh in!

So, this is my 7th day of counting calories and tomorrow morning I have to weigh in....I'm excited and kinda scared. I've weighed about 282 for 2 straight months. I know I weighed 283 last Wednesday, but it usually goes up and down about 2 lbs depending on the day of the week. Before that I weighed 277 for months.....maybe even a year! I'm hoping to weigh at least 280 when I weigh in tomorrow and I have to be happy with that or any weight loss, but I'd really like to lose more this first week. I know it's going to get harder to lose the weight after I get closer to my goal! Still, I am feeling very positive this time.

When I started the Atkins diet, I lost a lot of weight! About 20 lbs in 3 months, but who can live without bread? Really? I love bread. When I was a kid I would eat like 4 pieces of toast every morning for breakfast.....and I was SKINNY! So, I never really saw the logic. If bread makes you fat, then why wasn't I a fat kid?

When I started weight watchers online, I lost 8 lbs the first week and then less and less until I stopped losing. I think it was only like a month and a half in. I don't know what the problem was, I probably didn't give it a fair go. Maybe it was just the fact that I was the only one doing it. I had no partner in my family.

This time, so far so good! I can eat whatever I want! Even ICE CREAM! I have to be careful how much I eat especially of things that aren't so good for me, but nothing is off limits! So, I know it's only been a week, but I have a lot more going for me than ever before!

For one, I have this blog. It keeps me accountable to myself and those who read it. Second, I have my husband who is also going through the same things as me. We are working out together...in past we've had to work out alone. Third, I have the calorie count website (no, I don't work for them!). It helps me keep track of how much I'm eating and keeps track of my progress. It also has a grading system. I don't know if it really means anything, but I hate getting bad grades so, if I get an A- (that's the best I've done so far) for the day I'm so happy and proud of myself!

One more thing....my hubby and I have set a goal for next summer. We are planning to take a 3-5 day backpacking trip. We are both excited for it and we have to get in shape to be able to do it! Also, we have nothing for this trip.....so, we'll have to buy stuff throughout the next year for it. I think that will help keep us motivated.

For mothers day, we took the kids on a 2.7 mile hike up around some falls around here. It was so beautiful and something you could never see from a car. The trail actually takes you behind one of the falls. It was beautiful. The kids loved it too. They thought it was awesome. We want them to realize that adults do things, they exercise, they're active. Our parents weren't exactly active.....they cleaned the house, mowed the lawn, did some gardening, went camping, fishing, and hunting. But they never had a regular exercise schedule. Both of our moms were skinny, I guess naturally, I assumed you only got fat if you sat around all day eating bags of potato chips. :)

We want our kids to realized exercise is fun and should be a part of your everyday life.